Does your baby smile more widely when dad gets home from work or is he the only one who can provide consolation when they get cranky? Even worse, does your baby swat you away when dad is around or cry when he hands them over?

Dad favouritism can be galling for mums who wait on their little ones round the clock and can lead to feelings of insecurity, resentment, and rejection. The good news is temporarily favouring one parent over the the other is completely normal, mums shouldn’t see it as a slight on their parenting skills or ability to bond with their babies.

Babies form attachments for several reasons;

Feeding

The person who feeds them is regarded as the nurturer. Breastfeeding strengthens this relationship and babies are more likely to bond with mum.

Stimulation
If dad is better at entertaining and stimulating them, that’s the person they will turn to for amusement, even though they spend more time with you. Time with dad may be regarded as “happy hour” for your baby.

Feedback
Babies thrive on positive feedback and encouragement. Some dads may give this more intensively than mum and it can shape their caregiver preference.

Soothing
Babies feel most comfortable with the parent who’s able to soothe them when they are upset. Dad may have the knack in this department and provide the right calming tonic.

Personality
A preference for dad may form for inexplicable reasons. They may just prefer his company to yours. For example, babies can tune into anxiety and dad may be a more relaxed companion.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Sometimes mums step back when they realise their baby prefers dad. They refer to their child as daddy’s girl or boy to explain away the preference. This will only serve to widen the divide and reinforce the preference.

Favouring one parent over another is usually just a passing phase, children’s affections can be fickle, one week they may prefer dad, the next mum. If you are temporarily left out in the cold, it’s important to continually engage with your child, throw yourself into play with them, and be optimistic and upbeat in their company. In time, your child will love mum and dad equally.